This shit is tough already.

March 4th
Last week, my sweetheart and I both came to the realization that we have not been communicating successfully for a while, and with the anticipation of trail, that we wouldn't have time to fix us before I leave. This week, I told my boss and HR my plans to leave my job, and hike the trail. Today, I purchased my one-way flight to California.

Endless emotions from every spectrum have been invading my heart and mind. It's been rough. My heart hurts right now, but I know it will heal in the coming months. I am ready to face PCT, even as I sit here crying while typing this post. I am strong and will become stronger from all this.

To my sweetheart: I wish more than anything that I had your support right now during these emotionally intense final days. You bought me my first PCT book, came to PCT Days with me, attended PCT lectures and and various gear-sales with me, have listen to me blabber for hours about trail-this, and trail-that... It is unfortunate that we have lost the ability to communicate with compassion and respect. I am sorry my plan to hike PCT has brought so much anxiety and stress to you. I hope you are able to heal quickly. I will love you endlessly forever, and will think of you everyday on trail.

I have been so blessed to have so many supportive people helping me though this difficult time, and encouraging me to keep my eyes on the sun, so the shadows fall behind me. Thank you Maha, Becca, Mike, Tamara, Leah, Carolyn, Jonathan, Caroline, Lacy, Lanita, Mallory, Lindsey, Kim, and Josh for your love. You are seriously the best things in my life right now.

A special thanks to my Mom, who at first hated the idea of me spending 5-months outside, but now is more supportive than ever. She has listened to me cry endlessly about my unfortunate relationship issues, and now also believes trail is the best thing for me at this time in my life. She has moved beyond being just my mother, and is now truly my best friend.

Another special thanks to my Aunt Tammy and Uncle Bill, who have been setting me up with the right gadgets for trail, loaning me $ for my student loans while away, and for your love, guidance and support. You're a blessing to me.

And a final special thanks to Nan, Marty, Emmett, and Owen for taking me into your home on this final month before I leave. You funded me purchasing my tent a few months ago, and now, are letting me sleep in your guest bed... possibly the last bed I will sleep in until October. I love you. I love you guys so much. I can not possibly thank you enough for everything.

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